my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
