She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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