She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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