we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
