tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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