So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
