Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
