you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
