FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
