i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
