A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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