having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am available for nakedness
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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