And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
