a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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