she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
