You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
