Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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