He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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