if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think people are normalizing furries
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize