So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
