you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
