I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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