And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
