erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize