Plan B is the new Plan A
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
