My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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