Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
