why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
