So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
