So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
