I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
