Please, let me fuck your mom
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
