OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
