you have to choose: penises or morals?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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