ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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