im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
