she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
