I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
