did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize