So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
