I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
