Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize