Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
