Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I could fuck to npr.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
