Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
