you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize