Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She bit a glass in half.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
