I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
