you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
