She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
