Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
