We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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