Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize