i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
