Walk of Shame. In a state park.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
