he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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