You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
