We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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