I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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