i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
