Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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