So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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