New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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