apparently the secret to your success is patron
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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