I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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