Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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