my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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