It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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