I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's never too late to be topless.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
