her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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