Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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