Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
